It Follows
::content warning:: this episode contains descriptions of sexual assault.
This week (slightly tardy - our bad!) we are chatting about problematic instant classic It Follows! We talk about the pervasiveness of rape culture and other stuff I can’t remember but I’m sure it’s very cogent.
The Unholy (1988)
This week Abby and Rebecca randomly selected a 1988 softly lit classic, The Unholy! A young hot priest is the chosen one and must use his Godly powers to fight a sexy nipple demon. We go on a tangent about 90s sitcoms, the innocence of sex clubs, unsettling body horror, and so much more!
Pitch Black
The year is 2000 but we’re in the distant future baby! For Abby’s birthday, we’re talking about Vin Diesel’s break-out role as Richard B. Riddick who has a shine-job and a bad attitude. There are hammerhead lizards, sweaty tank tops, and a CANYON! Even on a three sunned planet Islamophobia, misogyny, and homophobia abound!
Unfriended
This week Abby and Rebecca discuss Unfriended, a found footage-esque horror film from the 2010s. We have unlikeable characters, an interesting setting, and cyberbullying. Are you still haunted by your high school bullies, or their ghosts? Cause we are!
Misery
Who else is ready to start off 2022 feeling MISERABLE (get it)? Somehow we’ve become a Stephen King adaptation podcast despite having no love for the narcissistic man-child, and this week we’re chatting about Misery. Join us to dissect why Poopy Paul Sheldon is the real asshole in this flick and how hard Kathy Bates went.
Black Christmas (2006)
Our annual Christmas tradition of covering an iteration of Black Christmas continues and this time it’s……sad. Giant asshole Glen Morgan has stripped away everything good about Black Christmas and left us with a dubious brother-sister killing team in matching Gap holiday pajamas.
The Shining
This week, we’re discussing an obscure and rarely talked-about film: Kubrick’s The Shining! This movie is a masterpiece, but obviously it’s racist and exploitative af. We also chat about the “documentary” about the making of the flick, Room 237. Spoiler alert: listening to a circle jerk of a bunch of Kubrick sycophants leaves us feeling less than shiny.
Cronos
If you’re wondering if we forgot to post this week’s episode, we sure did! Life comes at you fast, but the amount of men’s feet in Guillermo del Toro’s “Cronos” came at us faster. The word for this NAFTA-era Mexican vampire movie is “visceral” and we’re talking about all the weird details.
Van Helsing
This week, Abby learns the painful lesson that not all childhood favorites should be resurrected. We’re talking about Van Helsing, and there is misogyny, ableism, and weird American exceptionalism (along with a lot of wild CGI). Plus, we do some confusing accents!
Green Room
Uh oh, it’s a neo-n@zi episode! This week, we’re talking about Green Room, a near perfect horror movie about the punk scene, skinheads, and how fucking diabolical white women are. Also, we take several not-so-quick asides to talk about hottie Joe Cole and Peaky Blinders.
Child’s Play (1988)
This week Abby and Rebecca discuss the enduring classic, Child’s Play. We chat serial killer inspirations, the racist and lazy use of VooDoo as a plot device, and of course gush over Brad Douriff’s scary and sexy voice work.
Hocus Pocus Bonus Minisode
In this slightly shorter episode, Rebecca gets to experience Hocus Pocus for the first time and has a lot of questions. We talk museum maintenance, Thackery as a 90s heartthrob, and of course flying vacuums ridden by the icon Kathy Najimy. Happy Spooky Season!
Trick ‘r Treat
Spooky Season is in full swing and we are celebrating with Michael Dougherty’s 2007 anthology flick, Trick ‘r Treat. It features a whole bunch of ableism and the cutest little movie villain there ever was: Sam! Happy Halloweenie, y’all!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Jessica Biel’s boobs have a starring role in this lackluster remake that finds five entitled teenagers mocking ugly and disabled people and ignoring red flags left and right. Just saying: if you stick your arm willingly into an abandoned car’s gas tank and pull out a jar that look like it once housed an organ maybe you deserve what happens to you. Also, Frankie the dog has a mid-recording melt down. Enjoy!
Rear Window
This week, it’s our triumphant return for our 2nd Season & our 50th episode! To celebrate, we are taking on a whale of a film: Hitchcock’s near perfectly made 1954 classique, Rear Window! Is this movie an extraordinary feat of technical filmmaking? Yes! Does misogynist shit man Alfred Hitchcock belong in a stinky garbage can covered in old banana peels? Also yes! Join us and we’ll cover it all.
The Omen (2006)
We recorded this so long ago we forgot anything we talked about in this episode, but we’re covering the 2006 remake of the Omen! We talk about Abby’s intolerance of Liev Schreiber’s stupid fucking face, societal gaslighting of women and mothers, and abuses perpetrated by the Catholic Church. Another action packed episode!
Hush
This week, we are going deep into the woods & far away from other people to Abby’s dream home. Unfortunately, there is also a spree killer there. We’re discussing Hush, Mike Flanagan’s problematic 2016 flick about a slasher targeting a deaf woman in her home. We chat about the deaf community’s response to casting a g-darn HEARING person in the lead role and (as always) the evils of white men. Plus, Abby tries to walk back being a Flan Stan, but Rebecca is not having it.
The Covenant
Do you want to hear a clinically depressed woman yell about Massachusetts geography? We’ve got the podcast for you. This week, Rebecca and Abby cover Renny Harlin’s literal disaster, The Covenant! This bad boy boasts a 4% on Rotten Tomatoes and couldn’t be prouder of being a movie about white male colonizers. Plus, a very clumsy addiction metaphor!